There is no doubt that when you own your own business, you become defined by it. Every breath, every thought, your daily routines, your heartbeat.

Your business, it will reflect who you are, your values, your fears, your commitment, your desires for others and your own journey in life. The good days will make your business smile, your tough days will make your business weep.

Success in your business life, will enable you to have a successful home life. It will allow you to relax with your family, be in the moment when with them. The challenging times can separate and isolate you from the people around you, you will be there in person but not in heart and mind.

I can say this, because I know it and feel it.

I remember a HUGE moment in my life, I was 38 years old, my children were aged 10, 8 and 3. I was juggling being a mum and my commitments to the family. I decided to move my work-space into the kitchen, out of the office. My decision was that while the kids were doing homework, playing or while I was cooking, I could do the odd email, manage my work around them. I thought I could integrate both lives.

One night, just after I had done this, I had the most strange experience. It was 3.15am, I got out of bed, at least my body did. I walked downstairs, passing a mirror, I saw the reflection myself in the PJs I wore that night. I walked into the kitchen, the children were sitting at the table, they ignored me, my dog barked at me strangely. I talked, but no one heard me. I shouted, no one heard me. Then Hannah, looked straight through me and said ‘mum, your not here”.

I walked back up to my bed, as I opened the door, I saw Thomas, kneeling at my side weeping and holding me, I was dead.

People tell me that it was an out of body experience, I was told to think about what words were spoken during the ‘experience’ the message I got was ‘mum, you are not here’.

This actually makes me weep as I type this, tears are cascading. That moment in my life was terrifying, but thank God I was given it.

I can’t say I always manage to live by this lesson. But I always try. My life is so imbedded in the mission I have. Just like you. Never was there a time when my first paragraph was truer. We all ask others for attention and to get people to believe in our dreams and purpose , how can we not be consumed by identifying ourselves with it?

However, our sanity requires that our business challenges do not define us, we are still ourselves, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, daughters, sons, friends.

Wiping my tears now, I hope this resonates and perhaps helps anyone that is in this ‘experience’ right now, to find a way to ‘be present’ ‘be here’ in their home lives, with the people that love them and those they love so dearly.

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